There are those that I love that are struggling with things much greater then what I am about to complain about but I really need to get my issues out so I can think them through. Right now I am feeling like a horrible friend and wife and I feel I am being horrible to myself as well. While I am trying to do it all and while I keep throwing myself in to a variety of activities and projects I feel like I am letting everyone else down.
My DH and I are on completely opposite schedules and have so many side projects we are focusing on that we are like strangers right now. I am confident that will improve because we are an amazing team but feeling like a failure in our marriage right now is a hard pill to swallow. I am forever grateful though that I have a great partner and to have the confidence in that partnership.
As a friend I SUCK. I have several different types of friendships. I want to be there for all of my friends but unfortunately when life gets crazy that is the first piece of my life that gets pushed aside. How do you make time for everyone in your life? My friends are scattered all over New England and some beyond so how do I cover all that territory on zero minutes left in the day. I wish there was a course in how to be a good friend and provide your friends with the specific support they need. Again, I am extremely grateful for having the most amazingly strong, beautiful, caring, thoughtful Moms and women as friends most people could only dream of having.
In regards to myself, I have fallen behind in my goals to put myself first. My hair has not been cut in what feels like forever. I have not taken any time to do something I really would like to do. I have had the same book sitting on my nightstand for months because I am always staying up late doing things on my to do list rather then taking time to decompress and read.
The only thing I think I am doing right is parenting. My munchkins are my world and I always make it a point to give them my full attention or a big hug or smile no matter what else is going on in life. The kids thank me for things I do and say I am the Best Mom so I guess I am succeeding in that area of life.
OK, That is my little pity party. I am going to get over it and count my blessings. I just hope and pray those I am letting down right now forgive me for my faults! xoxo
